What on earth happened that I feel like I may have sprouted a pair of wings?
Open heart surgery happened.
It was my first surgery. OK not "my" surgery. But the first ever time I actually witnessed a surgery.
LIVE!
One that will guarantee a patient another 10-12 years of his life.
I have heard stories of interns fainting upon seeing blood,
feeling nauseous, etc. that I even
informed before hand, that there is a possibility I might feel sick in my
stomach.
No I didn't get oozy and wanted to puke all over the OR.
I wasn't turned off by the blood gushing out from the aorta, when the surgeon cut through it.
Oh well....
I had the time of my life!
On the hindsight, I did wish for other possibilities for recovery other than having to cut open one's heart. Its a brave decision on the patient's part to actually trust a doctor and allow him to cut open him.
Its traumatic to have to go through the process of deciding if I want my heart cut opened as much as I want to live. The latter wins by a landslide vote I guess.
However, during the actual surgery itself, I was leaning towards intrigue then emotional attachment towards the person lying before me.
It happened so quickly.
The transition from feeling the pain for the patient in the beginning to being fascinated by the exposed heart.
As Dr. Richard Selzer would put it,
Surgery is the red flower that blooms among the leaves and thorns that are the rest of medicine.
I hope you are feeling better now. It is a difficult job to cut off emotionally & see just a 'part' in front of us that has to be corrected.
ReplyDeleteTake care.